Milkbank Blog
How Long Did You Breastfeed?
I haven’t yet reached the point where I can breastfeed but I already know breastfeeding is one of those parenting minefields which is almost impossible to walk through without guilt, questioning and comments from others. Although other people have opinions on pregnancy (alcohol/no alcohol, coffee/no coffee, scheduled c-section/vaginal birth) the first proper issue I’ve watched most of my new-parent friends run into is breastfeeding.
Being one of the last of our social circle to have a child I’m lucky to have been able to watch and learn. I’ve seen the scorn heaped on women who bottle feed newborns (occasionally by choice but usually because in one way or another they aren’t able to breastfeed) and I’ve seen friends drowning in immense guilt when its not easy or if its painful and difficult. But as soon as they figure out how to breastfeed or when they master those pesky pumps then next question pops up - how long are you going to breastfeed for?
The WHO, Health Canada and the AMA all recommend breastfeeding exclusively for six months and then mixed feeding (a combination of breastfeeding and solids) up until the age of two. But how does that actually work in practice? Is it better to breastfeed longer?
In 2006 Channel 4 in the UK aired a documentary called Extraordinary Breastfeeding. It was a delicate look at four families and their differing attitudes on breastfeeding. Sophie had decided to wean her two year old twins ‘cold turkey’, Dolores was still breastfeeding her four year old son because she was in the process of adopting a little Chinese baby and was hoping to breastfeed her, Kirsty ran a breastfeeding support group in a low income area and had doubled the local uptake of breastfeeding by working with new moms in the hospital and Veronika was still breastfeeding her 7 year old daughter. Never in my life have I see a documentary so permeate the general public. The next day the only talk around the water cooler was breastfeeding - I’ve never seen so many men talking about breastfeeding! Generally the opinion was that women should be allowed to breastfeed wherever they like (Kristy had to campaign against the local mall who were asking breastfeeding mothers to leave) but that breastfeeding a child far into toddlerhood (or until they were seven) was freakish. (Although Veronika didn’t really help her cause when she said it wasn’t unusual in the mornings to have her child on one breast and her husband on the other!)
The recent Denny’s debacle and facebook banning nursing pictures only highlights further how polarized attitudes to breastfeeding are in North America. Why is something so natural seen as disgusting? How do we as mothers (and fathers) encourage positive attitudes towards breastfeeding? How do you handle comments from other people? What is your experience - how long did you breastfeed for?
6 Comments to “How Long Did You Breastfeed?”
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Great post. Next week I’m going to see a doctor about lactation induction, because I believe in breastfeeding, both for the health of the child and the health of the mother (in countries where women breast feed to 2 years have significantly lower breast cancer rates). This being said it did freak me out to see my SIL breast feed her 2 year old, and very few woman are lucky enough to not have to work and thus be able to stay home and breast feed..
I preach moderation in all things, especially breastfeeding. I got really great advice from the lactation nurse when my second was born ( I couldn’t bf my first, no matter how hard I tried, so I was surprised when it worked the second time.) She said to take it day by day, when it stopped working for me or the baby to stop.
So far I’ve said I would stop at 6 weeks, 3 mos, 6 mos and 9 mos. I’m at 8 mos and thinking of going for a couple of more but ABSOLUTELY want to be done by 1 yr. I think it will be time for both of us to be done.
I can’t wait to follow along when you have your baby!
I still nurse Sophie who will be 3 in July. I’ve been slowly weening her onto bottles because she’s just not going to the sippy cup as much as a bottle.
I’ve had a LOT of women tease me about this, or flat out tell me that I “need to cut the girl off.” She’s my last. I’m not ready yet and neither is she. We’ll quit when we are ready.
I think it’s unfair to make someone feel badly for breastfeeding beyond the first year. Literally, they shame you into quitting.
Also, while in my twins meeting a lady that I refer to as the “Lactation Nazi” made another mom cry when she attacked her choice to bottle feed her twins. ATTACKED.
Why do we do that? Why do we make each other feel guilty or less of a woman because of choice to be an extended feeder (however 7 years is going to far, I think) or to not breastfeed at all.
Ultimately, it’s our choice. Whatever it may be. We have to do what we feel is best for our child and ourSELVES.
Interesting post. I come from an extremely breastfeeding-positive background - my sisters and I were all breastfeed, and as a kid, my mom said when I got dolls that came with a bottle I just threw the bottle away cause I didn’t know what it was for. I have no problem with extended nursing (my sisters both nursed until they were about 4) although 7 is a bit old! Yeesh! I do have a friend with 4 kids and one of them loved nursing so much she’d still ask to nurse when she was 8 or so (although I don’t think her mom let her!) And she is a totally happy and healthy and well-adjusted 12 year old now.
I totally support whatever works for women and their babies, but it does make me sad that so many women of my generation have only the guilt and expectation heaped on them by the medical establishment and not the best information or support or simply the exposure to breastfeeding that helps so much. I know so many people who have had to stop nursing because of problems, many of which I think could be avoided with the right help and support. Of course, it’s not for everyone and there are sometimes real problems that just can’t be overcome. But I can only imagine how hard it is to establish nursing when you’ve never really seen it done up close and all you’ve got is a bitchy nurse and a pamphlet telling you “breast is best.” I think about how distant our society has become, how we don’t always have our moms or sisters or aunties or girl-friends around to show us the ropes when we need them to, and how much we need that connection through the journey to become mothers and beyond.
So to sum up, then: Am I a big hippie? Yes.
Breastfeeding really is a minefield, and it also horrifies me how some people view it as disgusting or unacceptable. I was one of the lucky ones that never had any issues breastfeeding - both my babies latched perfectly within 20 minutes of giving birth, with never any discomfort or cracked nipples in sight!
As a result I breastfed my daughter until she was 14 months old, and my son until he was 17 months old. To me there is nothing more precious than nursing your tiny little baby, it’s a wonderful time for bonding and an excellent opportunity to help build them up.
Extended breastfeeding (like 3/4 year olds) just wasn’t for me, I was quite happy to stop before they were able to ask for it - but it’s worked very well for us and I believe I did well for both my children.