Milkbank Blog
Does Guilt Move In When the Baby Comes Out?
I’ve been watching friends for the last few months dealing with all manner of motherhood challenges - from sick children to returning to work to just dealing with the reality of a newborn baby - and the one emotion I’ve noticed thread through all the experiences is guilt.
I’m not very good with guilt as an emotion, I think it colours our perspective and limits our ability to see things for what they are, and I have done my best over the years to not do things I could end up feeling guilty about. The thing I’ve noticed about parental guilt is that it seems to wind its way into so many decisions that parents almost can’t make a decision that they won’t, in some way, feel guilty about. Do you go back to work (and feel guilty about not spending more time with your child) or decide to rearrange your life so you can stay home (but feel guilty about the fact that you aren’t contributing to the bottomline or that you can’t afford swimming lessons or holidays anymore)? Is parental guilt inevitable?
I don’t think for a second that I will be somehow immune to parental guilt but I do wonder how you more experienced parents handle it. Do you wrestle its ugly head down as much as you can or do you reach a point that you move beyond it with a sort of ‘devil may care’ attitude? Is it possible to parent without guilt?
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