MilkBank Blog
The Chicken Dance
No, it’s not what you are thinking. There was no flapping of arms or rythmic clapping of hands after one too many cocktails at some wedding. No. this was me, doing what it takes to get my son to try new foods.
My pre-schooler puts the picky in picky eater. At his four year well check I explained to his pediatrician that he was still only eating a handful of foods, despite a different doctor’s insistance the previous year that he would grow out of it. She looked him up and down and clucked, oh, he’s one of those kids. Apparently that is a new diagnosis I was not aware of.
I’ve made peace with the fact that he will probably not touch a juicy hamburger or peanut butter with you know, peanuts in it until sometime into adulthood. I admit I grew up eating buttered noodles and not much else for most of my childhood and I’ve managed to turn out alright so while I don’t stress about his refusal to eat more than grilled cheese sandwiches and yogurt, I still try regularly to offer him chances to try new things.
The other night I noticed him watching as I dug into some beautifully grilled chicken my husband prepared. Want to try it? I asked. No thank you, he responded. As usual.
If you try this, I said cutting off the smallest little piece I could still hold on my fork, I will clap and jump up and down and then I will run around the back yard in a circle. I didn’t think he’d go for it, but what the heck? Why not put it out there. He attempted to negotiate, saying that if he ate the food on his plate I should do it, but I held firm. Nope, I answered, making happy noises as I ate my dinner. You have to try this chicken.
Then I heard, alright fine! I couldn’t believe it but he was really going to do it. I provided him the teensy bite, he thought about it and explained I LIKE IT!
I dropped my fork, jumped up and down, hooted and hollered and took off for my promised lap around the back yard.
I’m sure I looked ridiculous and my neighbors were probably wondering what was going on, but hey, I don’t care. He ate chicken. CHICKEN!
Working for Vacation
Each morning when my son climbs into the car and we set off on our drive to Day Care he counts down the number of days until Saturday.
One more day! He announced cheerfully as we hit the road this morning. He’s right, after today we will have one more day. One very long, very busy, very anxiety-producing, very gruelling day before we go on vacation. Don’t get me wrong, I really really want to go but gosh darn it. Packing up a family of four to go on vacation? Well, it’s not picnic if you know what I’m saying.
There’s the particular foods no one can live without (yogurt sticks) the thermometer because you just know we’re going to need it, towels, band aids, shoes, clean undies, baby shampoo, binkys, camera, extra batteries, phone charger, computer, DVDs, ALL OF IT. Somehow I need to find time to magically pack all of this into suitcases that will fit into the back of the car and still manage to get myself in the car as well with a teensy bit of sanity.
Okay, so the sanity thing is not required. It’s almost gauranteed I will lose it at some point, but once we actually get there I am hoping it will find it’s way back to me slowly.
Help an organizationally challenged mother out. What are your best tips for travelling with the five and under set. I’ve already stockpiled some new books and toys to keep everyone busy during the trip. Any packing pointers for me? Suggestions? I’ll take them!
Baby finally sleeping by herself
In my post Need Help With Controlled Crying, I wrote about letting my 9-month-old cry in the crib for awhile as she was keeping me up all night cradling and nursing her to sleep.
Well, it worked! It only took around three nights to get her to go to sleep on her own! My in-laws were staying with us and witnessed that the crying got less and less each night.
Now when I put her down, she will cry for less than a minute than settle herself. I’ll peek in and see her hugging the muslin cloth I leave for her. It’s so great! I can’t believe it! The only thing I would like to change is her bedtime. I still put her down at 7 p.m. but she always wakes up an hour later. She really goes into deep sleep around 9 pm and wakes up at 7 am.
I can’t complain. She is giving me my nights back! Now if only my 3-year-old would sleep early!
Now that the in-laws have gone back home, I actually miss their help with the kids. On the way to the airport yesterday they joked that they weren’t so annoying. My husband joked back and agreed. My mother-in-law was very helpful in keeping the baby and preschooler occupied when I needed to do something else. She even unloaded the dishwasher and did the laundry!
Last night as I was cleaning the bathroom, I found an envelope with money in it. It was from the in-laws who had tried to give us the money directly at their beginning of their stay. They said they wanted to pay for their room and board. Oh, I forgot to mention they’re English. Very polite and formal at times.
Actually, it should have been me giving the in-laws the money after all the nice help they offered.
(Photo credit: Bedzine.com)
Losing Weight
If you’ve been following my pregnancy, either here or on my blog you’ll know that I’ve struggled with weight issues throughout this pregnancy. Whether its being told I shouldn’t gain any (hogwash) or trying to deal with the changing landscape of my body its very hard to flick that switch in your brain that thinks that gaining is bad to gaining, in this case, is necessary.
Now, as we move closer and closer to actually having this baby (four and a half weeks!), I find myself fantasizing about being back in shape. But the real question is how do I do it? I do not want to start a fresh cycle of yo-yo dieting and find myself riding the emotional and physical roller coaster that comes when you feel out of control of your body. I’m coming to terms with the fact that now I’m a bit older my metabolism isn’t exactly kicking it and the sad truth that if I want to lose weight and get back into shape I can’t do it with diet alone. I need to kick it all up a notch and get moving. I know, from a past experience with losing a load of weight that my body needs to be moved and exercised pretty much every day (at least 6 days a week). And I mean moved - not walked or yoga’d but full on running or weight lifting. I can do other things but really is it worth putting in effort if its not going to give results?
So I’m building my plan of action, and right now that plan includes not doing anything, well at least in the beginning. I definitely want to use the momentum and desire I have at the moment but I also know that I have to be realistic. I’m not some Hollywood star who has to be back in a bikini 6 weeks after I give birth so why push things? I want to take some time to adjust and adapt to the newest member of our family and I know if I pretend that I’m going to head out to the gym on week two then I’m going to fail before I’ve even started!
So my plan is to take at least two months (but no more than three) and then start up an exercise program. I want to reshape my body as well (and reclaim by pre-pregnancy arms which have bizarrely ballooned) so I know that’s going to include three days a week of weight lifting as well as at least three cardio sessions a week. My long term goal is to get back to the weight I was on our wedding day three years ago, by our wedding anniversary in June.
I grew up as a relatively inactive child. We didn’t really play any sports so I wasn’t exposed to the idea of activity and exercise until later in my teens but it was never ingrained in me as a way of life. I definitely want something different for our daughter. I don’t want her to struggle with her weight like I have and I want her to see activity as a part of daily life (rather than having to fight to reprogram her thinking). In order to give her these things I know I need to lead by example, I need to BE active and not try every fad diet that comes along - to show her that strength and fitness are more important than what the number is on the scale.
My Child Can Be A Model And Other Things Parents Say
As my in-laws are still visiting us, I’m constantly looking for things to do to entertain them. My mother-in-law was reading the paper when she learned that the Fourth of July events downtown was including a cute baby contest. My father-in-law nodded his head.
“She’d win hands down,” he said.
I know that too but what if I entered her into the contest and she would lose? I didn’t want to be disappointed. After all, doesn’t every parent think their baby is the most beautiful and cutest in the world?
When we went to the parade today I was grateful not to know where or how to enter our 9-month-old daughter into the cutest baby contest. I didn’t want to be pressured. Ha! Some stage mom I am!
I do think my baby should be doing baby Gap ads. I would only let Wilhelmina Models see her though. Actually just last month I saw a posting by the agency looking for kids to show up at an open casting call. It was in Manhattan, where I used to live. As currently we’re not in New York, it’s not going to happen. Maybe one day a Wilhelmina model scout will come to my town and pick out my baby to be a cool fashion child model! It happened to my sister when she was in school. She ended up modeling for Sears catalogs. Anyway a tip for moms who want to put their babies in a diapers commercial. Never pay an agency who wants to represent your child. They’re just scamming you!
I remember a friend telling me she didn’t think all babies were cute. Well, I won’t go there. Let’s just say, every parent thinks their kid is spectacular looking.
Sick.
I’m sick. And pregnant. Which sucks. To be honest, I’ve been amazingly healthy throughout my pregnancy - I’m usually the person that gets every single little sniffle, cough or tickle in the throat that goes around, but since getting pregnant I have avoided e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. Until now. I’m doing what I can - plenty of fluids, extra vitamin C, sleep and as much rest as I can get but I have to say not being able to take anything to relieve the symptoms, and help me sleep through the night just shows me how much I rely on the magic of pharmaceuticals to get by. Although because I also need to take care of this little one growing inside me I don’t feel guilty about asking to work from home or not getting the dishes into the dishwasher - right now getting well needs my focus.
And of course I can’t help thinking about what it will be like to be sick when the little one arrives. I doubt I’ll be able to spend most of the day in bed reading and catching up on sleep so really I should enjoy the luxuries of being sick without children. And start stocking up on vitamins for later!
(If you have a special “pregnancy friendly” home remedy for curing cough, colds and or fevers please let me know - its already been a week and I am not sure what else to try so am very much open to suggestions!)
Teeny Shoes to Fill
At one year old, my little man is this close to walking. He’s not there yet, but he can make it about half way across the living room, easily five or six steps at a time. (I really don’t know who is more proud; Him or me?)
With it being summer at the moment, I haven’t given much thought to shoes, but I know cooler days are not too far away and his days of going from the house to the car, to the store and to the playground with bare feet are just about over.
I’m a fan of Robeez pre-walkers and shoes. Not only for functionality but holy cow- the style! Here are some pointers from the Robeez website about choosing shoes for your little feet:
When you’re choosing shoes for their developing feet:
1. Make it soft. A softer sole that cushions, allows toes a better grip, helping balance and muscle growth.
2. Get fit. A shoe with elastic hugs the ankle with every step, staying snug and secure for a great fit.
3. Measure up. Little feet grow quickly, so measure regularly.
4. Be flexible. Shoes should not restrict proper bending of the joints. A soft flexible soled shoe allows the foot to flex with ease.
5. Go light. Help the new walker go light and stay upright by choosing a lightweight shoe without bulky padding and heavy soles.
6. Get wiggling. Promote movement and flexing of their growing feet with games like “This Little Piggy”. ”
One Year Old!
Today is the day. One year ago today I was waiting patiently for the drive to the hospital for my planned C Section at 6 p.m. Did I tell you how Labor and Delivery called me the minute I walked in from having breakfast that morning to ask me if I had eaten breakfast that day? Because if not? They could have taken me at 11 a.m. instead of forcing me to endure a hot summer day with no food or drink and go in at 6? Oh yes, good times. That was one of many snafu’s that took place leading up to the birth of my little man. One of which, I realized last night when he was resting cozily on my lap, I wouldn’t change for anything.
As an official one year old my little man smiles, waves, says Mama and Dada (although not always to the right person..) loudly bangs toys together and can climb two sets of stairs over and over and over and over.
Even though this is my second time around I still like to check the ”baby books” once in awhile to see what I am in for next.
According to What to Expect When You are Expecting - The Toddler Years, at around 12 or 13 months babies may be:
“Using his hands for some very important tasks, including holding his cup, picking up tiny objects, playing patty-cake, and waving bye-bye. ”
All good here, we’ve got those covered. Phew. We are also really good at that game where the baby looks at you, drops something, waits for you to pick it up and then drops it again. He loves to bang his little hands and fists on everything including windows, doors, toys and his brother. Who knows? maybe he will be a drummer one day.
One thing is for sure; I have witnessed so many changes in this first year of life. I can hardly wait to see what happens next. Happy Birthday little man!
What is your one year old or toddler doing right now? Any favorite habits that you want to remember?
Need Help With Controlled Crying
My in-laws are visiting this month. So far, it’s been very nice as they’ve been helpful with household chores and taking care of the kids.
Before they arrived I was nervous that my mother-in-law would be too controlling. Last time they visited us, she had to have her say in everything parenthood related. As examples she would say, “Don’t give him that food, it’s too hot” or “He needs a jacket with that”. She is very sweet but is always giving advice, even when no one asks for it.
Regarding breastfeeding, I am still doing it. Our daughter is 9-months-old today and thriving! She recently has been standing on her own for a few seconds too! I can’t believe it! The only downside lately is that she hasn’t slept in her crib in a week! Funny how this correlates along with the in-laws visit.
Every time I place her in the crib she cries so now I end up leaving her in the bed with me and my husband. Since I need sleep I give in. I do want to practice more Controlled Crying though. On the Supernanny web site it says this:
1. Wait five minutes before going back to the room. Make your check brief and any interaction minimal. Don’t touch, pick her up, or cuddle her – simply say, “Mommy/Daddy is here, go to sleep” and then leave, even if he is still crying.
2. If she’s still crying after 10 minutes, repeat the procedure.
3. If she’s still crying after 15 minutes repeat the procedure and continue to repeat it every 15 minutes until she’s asleep.
4. If she starts to quieten down, wait to see if she’s starting to settle to sleep – if you go in at this point you may disturb her. If she starts to cry loudly again, start your checking again.
Last night I made the mistake of checking in on her when she quieted down and she started screaming again. Oh well, no one said this was easy otherwise advice wouldn’t be on the Internet!
I’m just grateful the grandparents are here to help with my son, who is loving the attention at night time. They are my own super nannies.
Does Guilt Move In When the Baby Comes Out?
I’ve been watching friends for the last few months dealing with all manner of motherhood challenges - from sick children to returning to work to just dealing with the reality of a newborn baby - and the one emotion I’ve noticed thread through all the experiences is guilt.
I’m not very good with guilt as an emotion, I think it colours our perspective and limits our ability to see things for what they are, and I have done my best over the years to not do things I could end up feeling guilty about. The thing I’ve noticed about parental guilt is that it seems to wind its way into so many decisions that parents almost can’t make a decision that they won’t, in some way, feel guilty about. Do you go back to work (and feel guilty about not spending more time with your child) or decide to rearrange your life so you can stay home (but feel guilty about the fact that you aren’t contributing to the bottomline or that you can’t afford swimming lessons or holidays anymore)? Is parental guilt inevitable?
I don’t think for a second that I will be somehow immune to parental guilt but I do wonder how you more experienced parents handle it. Do you wrestle its ugly head down as much as you can or do you reach a point that you move beyond it with a sort of ‘devil may care’ attitude? Is it possible to parent without guilt?
